At a Death Cafe people drink tea, eat cake and discuss death. Our aim is to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their (finite) lives.
Today I attended my first Death Cafe. It was arranged by three Buddhists and held in the space where Buddhist Meetings are held – but it was not a Buddhist event. It was attended by people volunteering and working at the local hospice as well as Buddhists and people interested in discussing death over tea / coffee and cake.
The agenda was not set. There were groups of chairs arranged in three circles. We all chose a chair and sat down on it. After an introduction which talked about the purpose of the cafe, the rules (respect, what is said in the room stays in the room – that sort of thing) we sat and talked.
I expected it to be awkward! No, it definitely wasn’t. The conversation just flowed. My group covered all sorts of aspects of death (the lead up, what happens afterwards, wills, funerals, the impermanence of life….). There was discussion; there was laughter.
I am continuing to be inspired by the people I meet, the conversations I have. This morning brought me closer to someone I already know from the meetings – we are going out for coffee soon – and I met new people.
A few months ago I would not have dreamt of going to an event like this. I would have found it weird! It would not have been “my thing”. I am very happy that it is now definitely “my sort of thing”.
Well I seem to have managed to delete a post! Clever me. Can never leave things alone – have to tinker, have to play, have to try and make things better! Lol. So this new post can combine yesterday’s and today’s. Lesson to self – stop being such a klutz!
Well the past few days have not been without their challenges but I am slowly climbing up the rock face… managing to grab a foot or hand hold here and there. Sometimes I slip backwards but mindfulness and skilful thinking catch my fall. I am pleased and proud to say that I have
not fallen back into my old ways of coping – sparkling water instead of wine. 
huge craters; the ups tiny. He reminded me that it is the toughest thing that I will ever do. Recovery acknowledges and addresses this. Russell knows first hand that it cannot be done alone. But crucially, it is not a one time thing. Steps 10 – 12 are about being committed to daily growth, to stay connected in these new, more authentic world views, to live life for others – not to concentrate on me, my ego.
Yesterday evening was spent in the company of 8 women talking about the Dharma. It was the first session of our new Buddhist Study Group and we had come together for the first time. We meditated, talked, reflected, listened and shared experiences. We laughed and drank tea. In that room, sitting around the small shrine to the Buddha, sat a diverse group of women with different lives, personalities and experiences – all at different stages on the Buddhist path. However, in that community, as part of that Sangha last night I felt comfortable and cared for. For the first time in a very long time I felt that I belonged. I didn’t feel as if I was standing on the edges looking in. The overwhelming feeling was the thing that we had in common – the desire to explore the Dharma.
So I say to myself and to you (as someone reading this post) – from this moment forward I will be not be drinking. Sparkling water will be my new best friend. I will keep you updated.
Introducing my pug / chinese crested cross – Pretzel.