Tag: Garden

Garden Part Three — OOPS I mean Garden Part Four

 

I am going to talk about my actual garden – well the plot on which my caravan stands.  In thinking through plans for this garden, I can see how all of the decisions, planning and action can be applied to my life.

I had a plan for my garden.  I wanted a large decking area which could be accessed directly from the caravan door.  I wanted a fence around it with a gate so that my little Pretzel dog could not escape every time I attempted to exit the caravan.  I wanted comfortable garden furniture, some plants and lots of twinkling fairy lights.  I wanted the trees and shrubs around the plot to stay with minimal pruning.  I know that they shade the garden quite heavily but I love the colour, the rich greenery, the birds and the squirrels.  I wanted one side to stay as the parking area and for the rest to be gradually filled with plants, bird tables and a bird bath.  That was the plan.  It was a solid plan.  It took into account the Park rules, the conditions of the plot, the needs of my escapee dog and my likes / dislikes.

So I started with the most expensive, biggest part of the plan – the decking.  And that is there.  The decking has furniture, lights, a lovely calm Buddha and flowers.  It is there.  I am so pleased with it.  I am quite surprised as to how dirty it gets – but it is cream after all.  I can live with that.  The day has to be very hot for me to be able to sit outside because it is very shaded but – again – that is ok! After all I have jumpers and blankets.  I love my decking.  I love the twinkling lights and my calm Buddha statue.  All is good.

But … as so often in life – I think that I have to change my plan for the rest of the garden.  My circumstances have changed beyond my control and so I have to alter my plans to allow for them.  Basically the garden I wanted to create would mean some hard work.  Lots of digging and planting.  It would also require lots of maintenance.  And all of that is a problem for me now.  My joints and back are conspiring against me to the point where I can barely lift a kettle half full of water let alone dig a garden.  I do not yet have a diagnosis but I cannot believe that this will all suddenly go away!.  So I have to be accepting that I may not be able to have exactly the garden that I want.  I have to admit to being disappointed.  I must admit to having sulked quite a bit!  But I have to look at what is possible and work with that.  I can still have the trees, the birds and the squirrels but will have to come up with a less high maintenance plan for the garden itself.  And this is what happens in life isn’t it?  We have dreams, aspirations and plans but we do not know for sure that they will be possible. It is good to have a plan – but we cannot get too firmly attached to that plan.  We do not know what is going to happen.  We cannot take anything for granted.  So I need to stop and reconsider.  And it may be that my garden will end up even better than I originally wanted.

 

Garden Part Three

So last year I took a long hard look at my garden / my life. People I love were suffering and I felt quite powerless to help in any real way. I was in a job that I used to love but now felt wrong. I had to carry on working to pay the mortgage on a house that had served its purpose. I fell in love only for that relationship to break down in a way that I still cannot comprehend. I took a long look at the good aspects of my life – my girls who were / are turning into beautiful young women both inside and out; some wonderful friends. Some parts of my garden were lovely. But I had no sense of direction. I had no real sense of what I wanted my garden to look like. I could just see the years stretching out – I couldn’t see a goal. I couldn’t see a path. I had no plan of any sort.

But then I was introduced to Buddhism, the three jewels. Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. And a purpose, a direction for my life became clearer. I knew that I wanted my garden to be a place where others could rest, could find comfort, could relax and rebuild their lives. I wanted to live a life in service to others – to my family, my friends, to all beings. In order to do this I had to make big changes. I had to find a way to rebuild my garden. To establish firm foundations.

So I have a general idea of how I want my garden to look. What I want to achieve with it. Some things can be started immediately ( have been started) whilst others will take some time. In his talk Subhadassi discussed the importance of not rushing things. He gave an example of wanting to lay a path. But if you just jumped in and laid it without looking at the conditions and observing the area in different seasons, an ill sited path may flood in heavy rain. The importance of observing, taking time. But there has to be a balance – taking time cannot mean procrastination. It is the delicate balance between kshanti and virya – patience and energy.

So yes the foundations of my garden are in progress. I have made use of the good things that were already in place – as I have said, some parts of my garden were pleasing to the eye. And some things in my garden cannot be eradicated – the two firmly established blossom trees that have taken time and effort but provide such pleasure. Smaller bushes. Some of my garden brought and still brings great pleasure.

Garden – Part Two

 

I guess that, in some ways, it doesn’t really matter if the garden is new to me or if I have always been in it.  The point is that there is a garden and I am in charge of it.  But I think that the garden is my life and how I choose to live my life is reflected in the garden in all of its aspects.  So this has always been my garden.  I like to think of this garden as a large, sprawling kind of garden with lots of different parts.   Full shade in some areas, sunny during a lot of the day in others.  Boggy, heavy, clay like soil leading to the overgrown pond but drier soil under the trees. A garden in which there is room to grow, to explore the potential.  A garden which could, if properly looked after, provide quiet spaces for contemplation and rest; spots for nature watching, vegetable plots etc etc.  A garden which shows previous attempts to tame it, to make it a beautiful place to be.  Maybe a beautiful tree that continues to flourish, or some flowers that bloom year after year.  Maybe I have put some effort (of the right kind) into some parts of  the garden ….  but not so much in others.  Overgrown flower beds, uneven and broken paths are in evidence.  Maybe an old potting shed or two.

So there came a point last year when I stopped and took a proper look at my garden.  How was it doing?  Was it full of beauty or at least functional?  And, as might be apparent, to anyone who has read at least some of this blog, I found that my garden /  my life was entirely unsatisfactory in most of its aspects.  Some parts of the garden were falling into neglect and disrepair.  Some of the garden looked quite pretty on the surface but these were small flowerbeds filled with temporary, garish annuals.  Other parts of the garden were functional – these parts “did the job” but were not pleasurable to be in or to look at.

It was time to take stock and decide what I wanted my garden to look like.  What I wanted my life to look like.

My mind map.. It started off so tidy and pretty! But I leave it on the table and add to it whenever I have another idea!

So – there we have it – part two of the garden metaphor.  I am sorry if I am boring you with it but I am quite enjoying writing it.   It is making me use my brain, to think more imaginatively – something that I have not done in a long time!