Category: Dharma

With deeds of loving kindness, I purify my body

 

This precept was the subject for my Dharma Study Group this week.  For me, this precept is the foundation of Buddhism.  Everything else stems from this.

The five precepts, training principles of Buddhism are given in their negative.  The first is “I undertake to refrain from taking life”.  It talks of killing but is really about abstaining from harming any sentient being in any way.  Violence is wrong because it is based on an unskilful mental state – on the state of hatred.  But the precepts also have a stronger, more powerful positive counterpart.  When I think of the precepts, I always think of the positive – what can I do to become a better human being?  Rather than what I should not do.  The counterpart of abstention from violence is the practice of Metta – loving kindness.  It is a loving kindness that is expressed in deeds; it is not enough to feel goodwill and love.  Loving kindness must be expressed in ACTION.

When talking about this precept – the first precept – it is tempting to think about the big things – should I be vegetarian or even vegan? Should I be opposed to abortion in all circumstances however distressing to the woman? But is this what we should be thinking about ? Is this all we should be considering? I could be vegan and anti abortion and be a vengeful uncaring human being. I only need to look in some of the Facebook vegan groups to see the hatred and anger some vegans have for other human beings. The anger and hatred directed at those poor innocent newbies who are simply seeking answers and dare to ask if eating honey can ever be ok…

I believe this precept has to come directly from the heart. It is why the Metta Bhavana meditation is so very important. I can hold as many principles as I like but may not be a person who shows loving kindness to myself, my friend, a neutral person, the person with whom I am having difficulties (sometimes referred to as my enemy) and to all sentient beings – human and non-human. I can be vegan, anti abortion etc etc but may be incapable of feeling and expressing loving kindness to all sentient beings.  Deeds of loving kindness stem from the heart not from sternly held principles and views.

Living from a standpoint of loving kindness has got its dangers. Without self love this way of living can turn someone into a “push over”, a “doormat” … however you want to label a person who never thinks of her / him self. But the precept is about all beings including ourselves. It is not by chance that the first stage of the Metta Bhavana focuses on ourselves. In this stage I wish myself happiness, I want myself to be well and free from suffering. If we do not love and care for ourselves, we cannot truly love and care for others.

We also have to look at wisdom. The threefold path consists of Ethics (the precepts) and meditation – both of which I have already mentioned – but also Wisdom.  Wisdom is crucial.  Sometimes we have to sit back and think – what is the best way to help this person?  What is the most skilful way to show loving kindness in this circumstance?

So, this precept for me, is the backdrop – or more truthfully – should be the backdrop for my entire existence.  That person who pushed in front of me in the queue – I could get angry but do I know what he / she is dealing with at the moment?  That friend who doesn’t respond to messages or phone calls – how do I know what is going on for them?  It might not be about me.  That person who is still eating meat even though they profess to be vegan in public – how do I know what else is going on in their lives, the struggles they have?

Loving kindness /Metta is not a soppy emotion.  It is a strong, all powerful force in our lives.  It should be expressed in action not just feelings.  So we should be actively loving and caring to ourselves, our family and friends, all the people we know, all animals.  Not just the people we like.  Not just the animals we think are cute.  All people.  All animals.  All sentient beings.  We should strive not to do them harm – but more than that – we should strive to do them good.

 

Learning to live the Dharma

I learn from reading.  I have always learnt by reading.   Books have been my source of knowledge for as long as I can remember.  However, mixed into this has been those few, rare lucky times when I can discuss what I have been reading with others.  This happened a lot at university in tutorials or with a friend who was doing the same courses.  Also during my MA when I sent a few hours per week in tutorials.  These discussions have always started with the text, the question and then have expanded to our lives and ways of living.  Since then – until now – I have not had these opportunities.  I had not realised how much I had missed the discussion and the potential for deeper personal growth.

Now I am fortunate enough to have found these opportunities for discussion again.  With people from my Sangha – either at Sangha evenings or at my Dharma Training Course.  And at retreats.  Every so often I meet up with Buddhist friends and we discuss the Dharma.  These discussions always deepen my understanding and lead me to thinking and acting more skillfully.

I am still reading – but I am finding that reading about learning to live the Dharma, learning to live more skillfully is not always as illuminating and inspirational as the discussions.  A while ago I read Vajragupta’s “Buddhism: Tools for living your life” and am now reading Maitreyabandhu’s “The Journey Guide”.  Both excellent books written by deeply spiritual knowledgable men.  Both books are full of practical advice on advancing my Buddhist life – on moving forwards on my journey to become more Tee.  But… (and this may just be me.  I know of at least one person who found “Tools for living your life” very helpful) I do not find inspiration from them.  I have read books on Buddhism which have been very inspirational – those by Sangharakshita, autobiographies and Vajragupta’s “Sailing the Worldly Winds”.  But these two books ( and others) which set out tools, exercises to follow etc do not “do it for me”.

Yesterday evening at my regular Sangha evening I realised why.  The evening was centred on speech – avoiding harsh, false, frivolous, slanderous speech.  After our usual meditation, tea and biscuits there was a short presentation from an order member with his friend, another order member, chipping in.  The presentation was informal but clear and incisive.  It was filled with personal experience and humour.  Afterwards we all started joining in with the discussion – there was a lot of deep thinking, practical examples, potential pitfalls and problems.  And there was humour and laughter.  This evening showed the joy that living the Dharma life can bring.  The contentment.  The sense of wonderment.  As well as the difficulty of living this life especially in the world as it is now.  This evening showed that my journey is not an easy one and will never be an easy one. That I will struggle, question why I am even trying to do it, fail – but it’s certainly not a miserable one.  How can it be with those friends? How an it be with the Sangha?  And I think that this is what can be missing from texts / books  – at least for me.

I have another “issue” with Maitreyabandhu’s book too. Again a personal thing. Throughout the book he keeps talking about the importance of having the same gender spiritual friends. He mentions it several times. I know that I have friends who strongly agree with him and it is important to the Triratna tradition. But I cannot agree wholeheartedly with this view. I am developing strong spiritual friendships with some amazing women but I am also doing the same with some amazing men. I find that I gain so much from my friendship with the men in my Sangha.