Nothing is guaranteed in life. Nothing is certain. Just because something is planned, it doesn’t mean that it will happen. Nothing reminds me of that more than a sudden sickness bug which cancels all my plans, work and normal life for a couple of days. It’s not serious. It’s a couple of days. But it’s hard not to be annoyed, upset and infuriated by it. I should be out on a Pretzel walk now but feel a bit too queasy. To allow myself to be annoyed or upset by this is the infamous second arrow. The first arrow is the illness – inflicted by something outside of my control. If I don’t just accept that first arrow with equanimity, I send in a second, self inflicted arrow which seems to do much more damage. Dukkha (suffering, unsatisfactoriness) is caused by that second arrow.
One of my lovely ordained friends – when he makes plans – always says “all being well”. Some of us have taken to doing this “I will go to Hereford this weekend, all being well”. “I will meet you for coffee, all being well”. It is a recognition that I might want it to happen but it may not.
So this is the second day of feeling very nauseous. I have chosen not to send in the second arrow. I have chosen to try to just accept it as what it is. And it allows me permission to stop and rest. And anyway Pretzel is perfectly happy curled up on my bed.
