I learn from reading. I have always learnt by reading. Books have been my source of knowledge for as long as I can remember. However, mixed into this has been those few, rare lucky times when I can discuss what I have been reading with others. This happened a lot at university in tutorials or with a friend who was doing the same courses. Also during my MA when I sent a few hours per week in tutorials. These discussions have always started with the text, the question and then have expanded to our lives and ways of living. Since then – until now – I have not had these opportunities. I had not realised how much I had missed the discussion and the potential for deeper personal growth.
Now I am fortunate enough to have found these opportunities for discussion again. With people from my Sangha – either at Sangha evenings or at my Dharma Training Course. And at retreats. Every so often I meet up with Buddhist friends and we discuss the Dharma. These discussions always deepen my understanding and lead me to thinking and acting more skillfully.
I am still reading – but I am finding that reading about learning to live the Dharma, learning to live more skillfully is not always as illuminating and inspirational as the discussions. A while ago I read Vajragupta’s “Buddhism: Tools for living your life” and am now reading Maitreyabandhu’s “The Journey Guide”. Both excellent books written by deeply spiritual knowledgable men. Both books are full of practical advice on advancing my Buddhist life – on moving forwards on my journey to become more Tee. But… (and this may just be me. I know of at least one person who found “Tools for living your life” very helpful) I do not find inspiration from them. I have read books on Buddhism which have been very inspirational – those by Sangharakshita, autobiographies and Vajragupta’s “Sailing the Worldly Winds”. But these two books ( and others) which set out tools, exercises to follow etc do not “do it for me”.
Yesterday evening at my regular Sangha evening I realised why. The evening was centred on speech – avoiding harsh, false, frivolous, slanderous speech. After our usual meditation, tea and biscuits there was a short presentation from an order member with his friend, another order member, chipping in. The presentation was informal but clear and incisive. It was filled with personal experience and humour. Afterwards we all started joining in with the discussion – there was a lot of deep thinking, practical examples, potential pitfalls and problems. And there was humour and laughter. This evening showed the joy that living the Dharma life can bring. The contentment. The sense of wonderment. As well as the difficulty of living this life especially in the world as it is now. This evening showed that my journey is not an easy one and will never be an easy one. That I will struggle, question why I am even trying to do it, fail – but it’s certainly not a miserable one. How can it be with those friends? How an it be with the Sangha? And I think that this is what can be missing from texts / books – at least for me.
I have another “issue” with Maitreyabandhu’s book too. Again a personal thing. Throughout the book he keeps talking about the importance of having the same gender spiritual friends. He mentions it several times. I know that I have friends who strongly agree with him and it is important to the Triratna tradition. But I cannot agree wholeheartedly with this view. I am developing strong spiritual friendships with some amazing women but I am also doing the same with some amazing men. I find that I gain so much from my friendship with the men in my Sangha.